February’s 1000 Hour Outside book club book is called Why Can’t We Just Play? By Pam Lobley. This light-hearted, quick read follows Lobley’s personal journey of what she calls her “50’s Summer”.
She starts by calling all busy mothers (including herself) out. All we do is plan, plan, plan. Do our children have an extra hour after school? We have the impulse to fill the time with an organized sport. Do we have some free weekends? Let’s go camping, plan to clean the house, or start a large project. Why can’t we relax and enjoy family time? Why can’t we just play?
While reading the beginning of this book, I reflected a lot on myself. We have a fear of letting our child fall behind, so with good intentions, we dedicate nearly every waking moment to create memories. To paraphrase a quote that stuck out to me, Lobley says, “I was trying so hard to make special moments, that I didn’t have time to enjoy them.” That quote hit a little too close to home. Although my son is only 9 months old at the time of writing, we have something going on almost every day of the week. Gymnastics, swim classes, stroller walks with moms, breastfeeding support group, and anything else I can find to fill the time. Some of these activities are for my enjoyment, but I find myself feeling the need to minimize free time.
As a new mom, I had been frantically researching and planning all of the summer camps that I was going to send my son to in a few years. I didn’t even think about the fact that Devin might not want to do any of those things. He might just want to stay home, and that should be okay. Don’t get me wrong, I think summer camps are a great way to socialize and learn interesting things, but to fill a summer completely with activities is a mistake.
The 50’s Summer
Lobley’s idea of a 50’s summer was simple- she was not going to plan any activities, and she was going to live slowly. No alarms, no camps, and certainly no other organized events. The first week was not great, as her kids were very bored. But eventually, something happened and they started to play. They requested to go to the community pool, and they played imaginary games outside. They watched a LOT of TV and played a LOT of video games. This is the part where I give my two cents: I was frustrated by how much TV and video games she allowed. “Being bored” is no good if children can just turn on the TV and be entertained at the click of a button.
Letting kids rule 100% of the time is, in my opinion, not the best way to spend a summer. She didn’t have any time to herself because she was too focused on the idea of living slowly and giving her kids the summer that they controlled.
Wrap Up
I do think this book is a great read, especially if you need to learn to slow down like myself. Juggling a full time job, being a full time parent, and having my own small business is time consuming enough. I will be actively working on giving myself and my son a break from the chaos.
Lobely ends the book with a few great UNPLUGGED activity ideas. When your kids say “I’m bored!”, which they inevitably will, you can have some suggestions up your sleeve.
Remember: your kids will not fall behind if they’re not in camp all summer, in organized sports, or spending every waking moment being productive. Do yourself and your kids a favor, and just let them play!